The Art of Staying Steady: Cultivating Emotional Intelligence in a World of 50,000 Reactions
When I led my own business, I tried hard not to react quickly to anything that was thrown at me.
I'd always sleep on things and try hard not to show any significantly positive or negative emotion. I wanted to be consistent and considered, not erratic or reactive.
I did this because I'm a slow and steady thinker who likes to look at the facts, the data and see things from many angles before making a decision. But I also did it because like most founders and CEOs, I had to deal with a lot of fires and wrecks and didn't want to show how upset or concerned about the situation I was.
This got me to looking deeper into Emotional intelligence today.
It's the ability to understand, navigate, and influence emotions—both yours and others’. It’s the difference between being a boss and a leader, heard and truly listened to.
It isn't an optional skill. In a world that's increasingly interconnected and diverse, it’s non-negotiable.
I was told many times how good a boss I was, and how much I was liked. But me being me, I never took it in, I never believed it. That's how I am. But thankfully, my emotional skills are good for leadership, phew! (I'll tell you about the stuff I wasn't so good at another day!)
To cultivate your own Emotional Intelligence, here are a few things you can do.
Self-Awareness: Understand your own emotions and how they affect your actions. Practice mindfulness to stay present.
Empathy: Go beyond hearing—listen. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes, especially when their viewpoint feels foreign. Ask open-ended questions like, “How do you see this situation?”
Adaptability: The best leaders flex their style. Adjust your communication to meet your audience where they are. Use tools like cultural sensitivity training or emotional intelligence workshops.
Conflict Management: Emotional intelligence doesn’t avoid conflict—it handles it wisely. Approach disagreements as opportunities to build trust. Stay curious, not defensive.
Given that research suggests we react as many as 50,000 times a day, and that we have to make around 35,000 decisions a day, then we should all be majoring in emotional intelligence to improve our performance on many levels.
Are you looking to improve your professional performance and grow your business? Contact me, Stephen Cribbett, to find out more about how I coach business founders to achieve healthy growth and happy minds.